5 Reasons Why A First Look Is A Must
How Do I Get Him To Cry?
We all grow up with a vision of our wedding day, and for me, that vision included my groom (whoever he may be!) standing at the end of the aisle, shedding tears as he sees me in my gown for the first time. Even after I got engaged and entered the planning stages, I remained steadfast in wanting this traditional element of not seeing each other until we were at the alter.
So what changed my mind? It happened to be a conversation with my lovely photographer, who asked me why I wanted to forego a first look. I explained that I had always anticipated the moment of seeing my husband’s raw emotions as he watched me walk down the aisle, hand in hand with my dad, music playing, and all. My photographer explained that, if it was the raw emotion I was after, I should seriously consider a first look, and here is why:
No Audience
Let’s be honest—we want some tears. The idea of your groom LOSING IT when seeing you for the first time just makes you all warm and tingly, doesn’t it? And even if there aren’t actual waterworks, it’s the emotion we’re after—wanting to see just how beautiful we are in their eyes, and how much this moment means to them. While some grooms have no issue blocking out the crowd of onlookers as their bride strides towards them, the audience still creates a less intimate moment between the two of you. Having all eyes on them, waiting to see the onset of a teardrop…it takes away from the moment’s authenticity. When it’s just the two of you, there’s no pressure for a reaction. Instead, the two of you can laugh, cry, stare, whatever the case—and have a truly genuine moment together.
Alone Time
As crazy as it sounds, there are few moments on the day of your wedding when you and your groom can be alone together. In the rush of getting bridal-ready, taking group photos, greeting guests, etc…it becomes difficult to take a step back and let it all sink in. A first look is one of the best ways to take a few moments, just the two of you, and breathe in the meaning of what the day is about: your love and commitment.
3. Logistics
Most brides decide that they’re okay with missing most of the cocktail hour for the sake of not having a first look. Since photos need to be taken during this time slot if they weren’t done before the ceremony, many brides deem this sacrifice to be a “necessary evil.” My take? WHY!! The wedding events honestly go by in a flash and missing such a large chunk of it is truly a shame. So much thought and planning go into the cocktail hour, and you won’t want to miss it! Plus, it’s a great time to greet guests and get some conversations out of the way so that, once the reception starts, you can be on the dance floor and not worry as much about making your rounds.
4. Taking It All In
Ok, the blackout is real. When your nerves and adrenaline kick in on the day of the wedding, large chunks of time get erased from your memory. The anticipation of seeing your groom for the first time is one of those moments. By doing a first look, you’re able to get those nerves out of the way before walking down the aisle, and therefore can be more present during that special moment. Seeing your friends and family all sitting there, hearing the vows read by your husband, the first kiss…they’re all moments that you will want to remember for a lifetime, and pesky nerves can really get in the way of your mental clarity.
5. A Second First Look
If you’re concerned that a first look will take away from the emotions of you walking down the aisle, FEAR NOT. There is a completely new reaction that your S.O. will have when seeing you at the ceremony; and it’s just as special as the one during your first look. With the music playing, your loved ones watching, and the accompaniment of your father, the atmosphere is just different. So if anything, you get TWO chances to make your husband tear up!
Alright, clearly there’s no right or wrong answer here, but these are the reasons why I’m so glad I changed my mind and did a first look. If you’re still unsure, try to ask yourself WHY you’re leaning in one direction over the other, and if the reasons line up with your decision. At the end of the day, you can’t go wrong.
My biggest tip in “all things wedding” is to make your decisions based on what’s important to you both, and not because of traditions or the opinions of others (even my own)! It’s your day, so do what makes you happy.
